Sunday, 25 March 2007

Still In Moulding

By Lucy Wall

“Still In Moulding” is the third poem I wrote after giving my life to Jesus. Unlike my first two poems I didn’t receive my inspiration from any particular verse in the Bible but rather it came from what I felt the Lord was bringing out of my heart at the time.

It became apparent to me that at this point in my life I often found myself thinking about the fact that I was single. As I thought more deeply about this I began to consider what qualities I might now desire in a man and what kind of person I would consider could potentially be my husband.

As I began to write this poem it was really interesting for me to discover what I was now looking for in a spouse and there were certainly a few surprises there! The poem starts off with a very light-hearted, jovial tone and I had a lot of fun discovering what boxes  my ”Mr Right ” would have to tick!
As I sat reading through my words and ideas for my unknown, mysterious “Mr Right”  I started to think, “Hey this guy sounds great! I wish he was here now! Actually, why isn ’t he here now? Why am I single? ”

This thought then lead me to dwell on the love of my Saviour and His sovereignty in my life. I began to meditate on His good and perfect judgements and how He knows what ’s best for me. The more I considered His flawless ways the more I realised that Jesus is in absolute control. I then rested in the knowledge that for as long as I was single, that was as long as I was meant to be single for! I knew that if it were better for me to be with someone then I would be! I had the desire in my heart to meet the right person but for some reason unknown to myself, God saw it better for me to be single at that time.

I then went on to consider how we meet people at appointed times in our lives and only when God allows us to, not a minute sooner, not a minute later. Whether the relationship is a friend, relative or future spouse, we meet them when God permits us to as all things work according to His perfect timing. Romans 8:28 certainly confirms this. I felt like God was moulding and shaping me on a daily basis into the woman that Jesus wanted me to be. Knowing that I wanted to be married to a godly man I didn’t resent the thought of being slowly fashioned into a godly woman.

It was these thoughts that developed into the title “Still In Moulding ” and gave me the second half of my poem. I had a peace in my heart that the Lord had a husband in store for me but I didn’t know why I wasn’t ready for him yet. I figured it could be for any number of reasons so I relinquished the desire to control this aspect of my life and gave it over to the Lord. What wonderful freedom and peace I found knowing I could completely trust in His perfect timing. With my eyes on Jesus I knew I could rest easy and leave the work to Him!

A question often in my mind, "Does "Mr Right" exist?"
Is there a man who'll tick each box on my extensive list?
What aspirations do I have when I envisage him?
His character or confidence that come from deep within.

I hope he's strong within his faith and feels a passion there.
He'll teach me things I never knew, this passion we will share.
His knowledge will run far and wide, at least, that's what I pray.
He'll also love to learn and listen to the things I say.

He'll have ambitions and ideas, have targets, goals and dreams.
He won't play games so juvenile, he'll say just what he means.
He knows his mind and what he likes, a grounded man he'll be.
He'll love to open up his life and make some room for me!

He'll share my humour, make me laugh, we'll have our "silly jokes."
Amuse our-selves for hours on end, I can't stand boring blokes!
A staid demeanour he won't possess, he's vivacious, fun and smart.
By being true to who he is, is how he'll steal my heart.

In honesty I don't imagine what his looks will be.
His features, face and colourings are just not up to me.
For me to plan minute details I think is not so clever.
He'll look the way he's meant to look, I'll love him so whatever.

We'll be a team, work as a pair, take turns to compromise.
Just knowing that he's mine to keep will give me butterflies.
He'll like to make a fuss of me, "the apple of his eye."
Be patient, bold and trustworthy and good at D.I.Y!

He doesn't need extravagance or riches to be mine
For opulence I do not seek, on me he'll spend his time.
Should he insist on spoiling me just to say "Love you!"
Leave little presents here or there, I guess that's alright too!

Well sounds like I know what I want and what I'm looking for
So why has "Mr Right" not yet come charging through my door?
I don't expect a "Superman" who flies at lightning speed
Or "Prince Charming" to whisk me off upon his noble steed.

The man for me will just be real, my love for him won't tire.
A man to share a lifetime with, a man I can admire.
I live a life salubrious and always law abiding
So why has he not turned up yet and why's he still in hiding?

Perhaps I'm just not old enough or need to change my look.
Maybe I need to travel more or teach myself to cook!
Perhaps I lack experience in matters of the heart
Or need more time to heal the wounds that make the tear ducts start.

I think the Lord is teaching me to put my trust in Him,
To set my focus Heavenward when fear and doubt creep in.
He's teaching me that in His Word is where I'll find the cure,
That perseverance makes me grow more spiritually mature.

It's when I'm ready that I know that he and I will meet.
Until that day I guess God's work in me is incomplete.
Whatever traits or qualities God feels I must possess
Or lessons learnt or knowledge stored, I don't yet have I guess.

I feel the Lord is moulding me with each new passing day,
Less of me and more of Him and walking in His way.
My thoughts are changing, views adjust, opinions take a turn.
The more I open up my heart the more I seem to learn.

The Lord knows how I need to be for "Mr Right" to fall
And knows what I will need in him for him to be my all.
Perhaps it's him who needs some work! Now there's a thought that's new!
It isn't me who needs to grow, he needs a tweak or two!

These things will be part of the plan but deep inside I know,
It's when I'm least expecting him that "Mr Right" will show.
Who knows the time or place we'll meet, who knows the "when" or "how.”
If someone told me where he'd be I think I'd race there now!

But such details aren't mine to know for what will be will be.
"The future..." someone once described, " just not ours to see."
I could let anger take a hold, frustration make demands.
Instead I pray for quiet peace and leave it in God's hands.

For He's the one who knows me best and maps out my life's plan.
If this is in God's will for me I know I'll meet my man!
Until that day I trust the Lord will mould and shape my life.
He'll gently change me from a girl into a suited wife.

I know the man God has for me is more than worth the wait.
He'll be my friend and confidante. My husband. My soul-mate.
But why not now? Why make us wait when love could be unfolding?
I guess we're just not ready yet. I guess...we're still in moulding.

Psalm 37:4
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."


Needless to say, Jesus brought my husband along in His perfect time and I actually had the pleasure of sharing this poem with my guests on my own wedding day! By this time the Lord had used the poem mightily in my own life.

When things were developing between myself and Jan, I was chatting with my Mum one evening about whether he could be “Mr Right” or not. My Mum suggested that perhaps I should read my poem so I pulled it up on my laptop and began to read aloud. I only got a few verses through and then stopped. My Mum asked me why I had stopped reading and I replied, “Mum, this is a description of Jan!”

At the time of writing the poem I hadn’t known Jan well at all. I knew of him as “the Pastor’s son” at Church but I had barely spoken to him on more than a few occasions and our conversations had been very surface level. By the time I was reading the poem on that particular evening however I had gotten to know Jan over the course of about a year. Although I didn’t know who I was describing at the time of writing, I realised that night as I sat with my Mum that the poem was actually about Jan.

God really spoke to my heart in that moment and showed me that not only was this the man He wanted as my husband but also this was the man that I wanted as my husband! Along with several other things such as reading Scriptures, godly counsel and lots of prayer, it was a huge confirmation to me that I could proceed with God’s blessing. I guess you could say the rest is history!

Whenever I’m sharing this poem with others, especially young, single women, I always like to bring a focus around to the Scripture that I place at the end of this poem. As Psalm 37:4 reads,

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I really felt that this was a lesson Jesus taught me during the two years before Jan came on the scene, the years I was “Still In Moulding” you might say! So often with that Scripture I think we like to jump in our minds to the last bit which says "He will give you the desires of your heart" and we think "Oh yes please! I like the sound of that!" Of course the key part however is the first bit which says "Delight yourself in the Lord!"

From my understanding of this verse and from what I've found to be true in my own life, the more we genuinely find our delight in God, the more content we will be in Him alone and the desires of our heart will be in line with what He desires for us. When we’re in close communion with someone we connect intimately and are in sync with one another. It’s the same in our relationship with Jesus. When we truly find our delight in Him our desires are submitted to God's will and we want what He wants for us. Our desires become one and the same and so it takes away any striving. Having this joy and peace in our lives is such a wonderful privilege as it takes away the need to fret over our future. Why would we fret? We have a sovereign God taking care of us!

A message I also like to share in line with this poem is that it’s not about "finding a husband,” not at all. It's about serving Jesus, trusting our desires to Him and going where He wants us to go in life. It’s about each individual becoming the person that God wants them to be.

Jesus taught me that as a single Christian female I lacked absolutely nothing! God showed me that with Jesus we have everything we need and more because He is enough! It's Jesus who is our Husband first and foremost, Jesus is our Protector, our Provider, our Confidante and our constant Companion. He understands us entirely and will never let us down or leave us. I once heard it said that we should never try to make another person our Saviour. It’s too much pressure to put on a flawed human being and they’ll only let you down, no matter how much they may love you.

If we’re looking for another person to complete us and make us feel whole then we’re looking in the wrong place. It's Christ who completes us in ways no other human being ever could. When I started to get to grips with this truth I discovered such wonderful independence and contentment. That's not to say it was always easy, I certainly had some trials during this time. I had to dig deep into God's Word and remember His promises for me but I can honestly say that thanks to Jesus, I was content with being exactly as I was and I found this so liberating.

It was only once my love for Jesus was on the top spot of my heart and I truly found my delight in the Lord that I was ready and able to share my love with another because now it would be in the correct order. Jesus first and my husband second. I can love my husband better when I put Christ first because we actually make better spouses when God reigns within our hearts! We become more loving, more gracious, more merciful, more forgiving and less demanding. It’s in the interest of both parties to have Jesus at the head of a marriage.

I think it's worthy to note here, the moulding and shaping never ends! When you get married a whole new level of moulding and shaping comes into play, it doesn't stop when you become a husband or wife! Hopefully we are always seeking to be moulded and shaped into the image of Christ whatever our walk in life may be. Single, married, engaged, it's about growing in the Lord and always remembering that Jesus is our first love. I guess you could say that we’re all “Still In Moulding!”

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